Horrified as I walked through the corridor, once I saw his face I felt horror more. I was there on a scam looking at the man that gave me my last name, ____. Damn.... See... I was not allowed in the hospital, nor the prison... but I'll find my family... son's intuition. So I saw my idol in a bad way yet so strong. Who knew the next time we spoke he'd be gone. A cold hand, a hard face, do people only write when your erased? He maintained a respect for my mother, never did he degrade in front of me or my brother.

In The End

Why the pain, why so fast.
Troubles come but never seem to pass

All I can see are the difficulties
all I see is the struggle
Evey need is in your soul
no need to wonder just let go


It all blows away in the end.

Hate

I hate what you did to me
I hate how It feels
I hate that I can't get over you
I hate my heart never heals
I hate the way I treated you
I hate the things I did
I hate that I didn't cuddle more
And sleep with you in bed
I hate how I miss you
Each and every day
And how I can't quit thinking about you
After over a year apart
I hate the way My mind works
It always fucks things up
I hate the way my mind thinks
Never wanting to give up
I wish I could just tell you
Everything you meant to me
But you disregard every attempt
Like I do, you must hate me.

Don't

You dont have to hold me close
And whisper in my ear
How you love how I do certain things to you.
You don't have to speak
When I ask you a question
Dodge the bullet
Divert to something else.
You don't have to look at me
And listen to my ramblings
Or acknowledge that I am here
Except to pass the blunt and Absolut.
I asked if you love me, you said yes

Now it is me that has to show it.

The spoils of war are seldom great

A Life passes that needs forgotten.

Deep in the selfish hands of reality

Lies truth and understanding

A thought that flashes in a single moment.

Please don't, It is more then can be handled.

Pain

Fuck the Phony
Ride the pony
The dog is in the house.
Bitches Fuckin blow me.
Don't hate me while I stay behind and cry.

Demon Twist

Up inside of me the demons twist
the ful moon bright
to you, you must die tonight.
Hold Strong. Prepare. The uncharted lies ahead.
From Demon toungs to Sutdogs Brain. we are one, seething.
In Exstacy for loving ever more.

Broken Spirit

My spirit is falling.
I get drunk and stoned to make them go away. 
It masks the problems, too hard to handel.
Broken spirit, my broken self with my broken spirit.
Bend me, shape me, anyway you want.
My spirit is broken, the hustler, Broken.

Major Depressive Disorder.

Fuck the phony, Ride the pony
The Dog in the house
Bitches fucking blow me.
Don't hate me as I stay behind and cry.

Holes

I,m Down in a hole
With no where to go
Locked in this trap
Inside my mind.
Let me ask my inner self
When no one is around
Talking to shadows
For answers unsure
Pick like the game show
But pick the right door.
If not you will end up
Among the shadows,
Down in a hole.

The Sparrows Song Exteneded Emotional

This started as a poem, as you will find down below. Up till now only 4 people heard the song, it was made for me. This is my extended, of the hip emotional version to the classic song written in 1998.

Untitled

Sometimes it seems as if the weight of the world bears down
Endlessly pushing, more and more untill it seems all is about to break
Evrything rushing, no time for yourself, The wonderful person you are
always putting eveyone else ahead, The helping hand that is always there.
Not everyone appreciates your selfless giving, or understands the needs that you have
While everyone is caught up in what can be done for them, pushing untill you can do no more
When you finallay crash, Unappreciated, and feeling alone.
Always remember, your never alone. I want to be that pillar of light
Off in the distace like a lighthouse steering ships to port
The one who you can count on to always be there when your in need, not for myself,
but for you.
To hold you through the night, and wipe away your tears.
To Gently rub your hair while you tell me all your fears,
To help you through your day so your not so overwhelmed,
and laugh and talk and cry together so you know how appriciated you are
At many times in this life, the battles need to be chosen,
You are but 1 person who cannot accept demands from everyone
Some things in life are meant to be done for the self, and the happiness it brings,
Slow down and enjoy while it lasts, it all goes so quickly,
I will be here for you, Forever and always
I Promise to always love you,
And care for you,
and be someone you can escape the hectic world to
so that I can make you happy, and show you how special you really are
and do the things for you that you deserve,
My Love, My Life,
My Princess.

Alone

Alone

I feel so alone
without you by my side
I was addicted to seeing you everyday
and now your far away
I yearn for you
and die inside each day
I cannot stand this
Like being ripped away from the only happiness
you are my one
and without you I am empty
and alone.