The Reality of what happened is starting to sink in, we are pretty much done no going back. they got my meds pretty good so far, doubled everything, and added 600 mg of litithum.
I just wanted to thank/tell you some things I miss and appreciated:
1) Im in the valley again, so I am the valley trash, thats are there is, I have some govt papers and law papers going on so there is no move to get another job right now. That sux, You turned me to non cheap, now I'm yard salling and hitting the dollar store, that sux. Thank you for showing me the other side of life.
2) I came back to all the valley Hos, including crystal all trying to get with me, I can't even look at them, its ike get the fuck out of my face your a skank, Like seriously Ponderosa is a good dinner to them. I miss The High maintenance girl that made sure her nails and hair were done, wearing $500 dresses, or outfits. Here its like the girl in the hospital, thats the only way to explain.
Thank you for showing me valley trash is just that, maybe eventually I CAN HAVE ANOTHER HIGH CLASS WOMAN LIKE YOU.
3) Places here suck like bars / food. Places I'll miss especially with you:
Burbon street
Voodoo
The Casino
All Downtown
Peppers
Becks, (we had some good times, Karaoke, just early on alot of fun)
Cedar Falls .
The Water Parks
The Trails for biking / hiking
Pacos
Ferraries
Our 2 Shitty Malls
Hyvee
The Place we saw The Piano Man Show
The Cedar Rapids Airport - Lots of memories both happy and sad from leaving or coming.
The Mall Of America
The Deck
The Back Yard, _ I bet its starting to look nice now
The Living Room - I felt safe there
High Class Food and entertainment, Now its all Low class, as far down as Mc Donalds is a date - seriously.
I'm sure I missed some but you get the idea,
4) I wanted to thank you for trying to help me, you were there for my panic attacks alot and would walk with me or rub my head. Thank you for that, not many people care, No one here has yet to do anything but make my attacks worse. It was Odd I never had hardly 0 out there, you know in a while, but here, I've had a few so far, but its been a rough time so maybe thats why. Anyway taknk you for putting up with that part of me.
5) All the firsts you either had me experience or experienced with me. Flying for the first time, Going further west then ever, then again to vegas furthest ests, Vegas itself as my first. My first ever tailired Suit, my firdt $100 pair of Jeans, My first taste of fashion, multi products to get ready, My first cat, I hope he is ok I miss him so much. My first self owned Business, My first Self Owned Condo, First trip to Mall of America, First 3 some, first woman that was exactly that, a woman through and through, Well dressed, well mannered, Well Presented compared to what I'm used too. Lots of Firts for events, likr the Jsmres Tye party, the Party at the country club where we met Paco, etc. All those things I was never used too.
6) Thank you for scheduling to have the pictures taken, They turned out awesome.
7) Thank you for the things you did for me when I lived there like Laundry, cleaning, etc. I should have cooked more. I miss those dinners like at convair with the steaks and crab on top beranaise!
8) Thank you for teaching me the fine points of wine. I never liked it at all befor coming out there. I am glad I actually got involved and tried wine with you. We had some fun parties, and fun Wine nights just watching TV.
9) I miss playing cards, and making up our own games. That was fun.
10) Thank you for the good excercise habits, I'm down below 200 now. :)
Kate, Thank you for evertyhing. I know you say you dont hate me, and maybe you don't but I feel that you do, I mean you filed a restraining order, won't give me your phone number, I can't have your address, to send you anything. Thats all fine, but don't tell me you don't hate me when thats how it is, I gave you my cell and Address as soon as they changed. I understand we are over period. So I know why wou wouldn't want me to have it I guess, you don't even log on IM, or you changed addresses.
Anyway I'm posting thins on the blog also, that you still never even looked at.
Kate Thanks for all the high class things and that side of life so I got to see it. I would never have seen it here before I left, aand really wont see any of it now so thank you for all those things.
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