Generosity Test

Give and take is part of any relationship. The unspoken agreement to lean on your lover in exchange for your support at another time is part of what makes being in a relationship desirable over being alone.

As a lover, you are expected to give to fulfill your partner's needs and wishes. In return you should ideally experience what it is like to be given to. Your score and the results of this test refer to the role you fulfill in your current relationship. This is not a trait that you necessarily exhibit throughout life, but rather a style or role you have adopted for your present situation. Despite the fact most of us follow a general trend throughout our lifetime, the interaction with our partner can significantly influence our position--we may be reacting to or leading our partner's behavior. In fact, your style can be seen as a cocktail that gets shaken and stirred whenever you begin a new relationship or even when the dynamics of your current relationship change significantly. The essence may remain the same, but the added ingredients, flavors and garnishes change its taste.

In general terms, the healthiest alternative is to reach a certain balance between giving and taking. Couples who strike a balance are more likely to go with the flow, taking a little when they feel the need and giving when they feel they have something to offer their partner. Such a relationship is a healthy one -- both partners are comfortable with themselves, are able to identify their own needs and desires and can act on these feelings with the understanding that their partner will recognize their need and fulfill it. A couple that balances the giving and taking are two people working together to make a stronger whole.

However, love does not necessarily require the give-take division to be perfectly equal, nor does it specify what works and what doesn't. Every couple is different and what works for one may throw another pair off balance. What is most important is that the distribution satisfies both partners. Keep this in mind as you check out your score...

Results of the Giver Test

Your score = 85
Taker	Sharer	Giver

What does your score mean?

You are a giver extraordinaire! Perhaps you obtain enjoyment by constantly providing your partner with tokens of your love. Maybe your rewards come from the gratitude you receive after having given to your partner. Or maybe the act itself is amply fulfilling. Whatever the reason, it's great as long as you remain happy in this position. Giving is a beautiful thing if your offerings are well received and appreciated.

But any extreme has its possible drawbacks. And as a persistent giver there are many things you should watch out for. You may be putting your lover's needs and wants in front of your own in your desire to please. It feels nice at first to give and to see your partner appreciate your offers, but eventually this sense of well being may die if your mate gets into the habit and expects (or feels entitled to) your nice gestures-without giving in return. Don't let yourself become trapped in such a pattern with your partner if it no longer gives you joy, or even worse, if you start experiencing resentment and frustration. Give only because you truly WANT to -- not because you feel obliged to or want something in return.

Being a 100% giver in a relationship may backfire for you or your partner. It could leave your partner as the taker in the relationship, which may or may not be what s/he is comfortable with. For some people, receiving is a joy that invokes the urge to give back with the same gusto. With two such people together, a fantastic relationship full of reciprocated generosity can develop. But for others, being showered with attention and love feels great at first but may become suffocating over time. And then there are those individuals who simply enjoy being treated like royalty, come to expect such treatment, and don't give a second thought to the fact that they might give something in return. Whether such partners are simply clueless or truly selfish, you should beware, since you could miss out on the joys of being on the receiving end of a relationship.

And being a reluctant giver can cause you to suffer from pent up feelings of frustration. Only give when you truly wish to...