Well Its been a few Days

I got Moved into "home" I suppose you re moved into your place now. I hope all is well. I know I miss you, I'm totally worried about the court thing just because I'm already fucked with jimmy. Crystal has been cool I do have to say about letting me see him, I just can't see him yet cause I don't want him to see me this way. Your Stronger than I am, You can go on like its another day with Sky or at work, around friends, even at home. Your built that way to not let it bother you. Its like business to you. Seems weird not being at work, seeing everyone in My IM and none that talk to me. Crazy going from like 200K with bonuses together, and even just breaking down to myself like I need to do now, $135 a year, to Filing for Unemployment I probably wont get and Temp Disability to get my mind right. Cool Food stamps and the Welfare Check! I'm glad you got to keep your job, disappointed you used my blog against me. That was real thoughts and emotions, the Hate post was from Chris. It doesn't matter now, I just want you to know thst was pretty low, even the book, if you actually sit down and read it. I have Insurance until the end of the month so they are doing a Lyden Factor 5 teat and a full STD panel so I don't have to do it at a free clinic so I'll be able to tell you if you meed those meds or not. I really hope I can get at least a medical card, my script for lamictal is $716 a month. I went to walmart to try to buy them all outright for the cheap ones since I already had Insurance pay them. some were ok, but the psych and sleeping meds are crazy expensive. I really hope your having a good life, I am very hurt about alot, nut not angry besides with myself. I'm upset I put you into a position to not give me your phone number. I gave you mine as soon as it switched. Its your call and what you think is right, so its all good. It will be one of those things that eats me inside out though, because I though I was a better person than what apparently I am. A restraining order, A Number and Addy change with no info, and no contact. I feel like I wasted 3 years of your life, even as a friend to let it get that bad. Sorry I wasted that time. Maybe if I would have done things different it Toledo, or never came to Toledo you could be living this perfect life that I held you back from. I talked to a Psych and "waste of time" came up a lot so I see how she thinks I wasted your time. Anyway, I'm sorry for that. But I'm going yo go grab s drink.