Words to my killer

Hey baby whats going on?
I love you is your day going good I hope?
I logged into the bank account, I see you made two new accounts only in your name and moved all the money?
Whats up honey? Did something happen? Why is my name not there? I know I'm in Chicago, thats why I'm calling there. Why is this turning into a screaming match while Im here. Im far away your say things I'm not tryin to hear. I'll take the plan back tonight, fuck the test I'll be alright. I dont give a fuck about a job My girl, my love is tripping.
I need to get home quick to see what has happened. You broke up with me? what the fuck do you mean? We been together 3and a half years, we were supposed to get married in Nune, oh wait, thats why you kept trying to push the wedding, you had this all planned. You stay away from home at a friends I never even get to say a word. I try to text you, but there is no answer. My son is calling, I'm crying trying to tell him. Yes buddy, Iowa is off, Kate broke up with daddy the weddings off. I still want to take you to the water park it will be ok. We will just have to do it alone, I don't know what to say, my worlds falling apart in front of a 4 yr old, asking the questions hopin he has the answers. I love you son run off to bed. Daddy will see you soon If its here or if its there.

I cant sleep the night I stay awake till down. Away for 4 days from work, I have to try to go on. I walk into some bullshit, Kate showed them my blog, said I made threats to her, Now I'm called to HR. Fired I know its all I can get, not 2 words from me no one cares about my side. I grab all my personals a few side items too, leave the building go back home and see the uhual moving things. I pull in they all leave so I try to help them out. I take all inside throw it in the street so they dont have as far to walk. Next thing I know 2 cops arrive, to make me come with them, no warrant, no nothing takes me by ambulance to the mental ward. 48 hr judge ordered stay. Seems Kate told the cops I was going to kill myself so she could unload as I sat in the jacket, begging to get out. All that runs inside my head is her words I cant take it. So much drama in your life, with crystal, your family, yourself, or the courts. Well fuck you bitch, my son was molested. You tun on me in my time of need no one there to catch me. I sat Alone in a ball on the floor waiting for family to take me back home. Back to ohio I keep up the meds, A psychotic Bi-polar Acrophobic, I got the panic disorder and drug problems to boot, hitin the pain pills the immortal sin. Ill pay for it later now I cant move, all I can do is sit in the dark. I get the order, sherif at the door, I'm served with the papers, a no contact order. How the fuck can this happen? all in 3 days, now I'm back in ohio, mind in a haze. No one to talk to, live in a hole. My moms house is calling, jimmy come home. I'm flipping in my head, talking to voices inside, images of death. I wrap my arms around it and cover it with drugs, for 2 and A half months months I have my world, Make sure he is alright. Now he's gone, I'm back alone this hole in the ground, my life revolves, never an end. Some one to help, dikkie calls keeps me better, but I'm still fucked inside, no one understands, my life was crushed in 3 Days.

Untitled, 3 Poemes plus a Freestyle

A first attempt at Trapped, The Storm, and Ecstacy With some freestyle.

Lyrics translation to the freestyle channeled the other night

Sutdog Freestyle Green Fairy Seeing Visions of life.

Something down the road has got me by my head
Something down the road has got me by my head
Its pulling me away
Makes me wanna say
It has me Everyday
and I Don't know Why
I don't know why
It wants me dead
Oh
Something very clear
I see it there each year
And every minute that goes past
I'm Wasting Away Oh again
Oh Again
Something down the Road
Has got me held up by my coat
It won't let, Me run away
I'm Feeling, chased me every day
I'm Tripping, Grabbed me by the arms
Listen to the calls
Bitch I aint the Ark for you
to Float away
Be it everyday.
Oh oh ohhhhhh ohhh ohh yeah
My Words sing Mysterious ways
Every single day it tries to take me away
I Puff the Light till it turns my way
Out of darkness I turn away Yea yeah Oh Yeah
There's Something in my heart
It Drives me very far right to the
Bottom of my soul I feel it
Ripping very cold its feeling hotter as it goes
I don't know what my fucking toes feel like
Any fucking more its got me strangled like a whore
On the bed that laid the sheets to waste
I can feel that anger turn to hate oh yeah
Hating every angle
Hating every word
Hating every Idea
Hating every, every fucking word

Feeling the music

Yo there's something in my heart
That Makes it feel like every part
of my soul, drifts away again
don't let it, Take away the pain
I'll give it right here by my head
I'll catch it, let it go to bed
My body floats to the ground
I see it, angled like I clown
I can't feel it, spiritually inside
I'm touching Jesus on the eyes
I'm flying high as I can go
but then a Angel lets me know
That I'm falling,
Falling to the ground, I'm never
Gonna be around my loved ones
Any fucking more
just a minute your be at hells door
can't you feel it
Anger that you hold
Now you'll use it
Everyone you'll scold with your music
All the heat inside, I'm feelin
Just to melt the side of my feelings
all I have to do, is anger me and you
I open up the case
burn up fucking waste yeah baby
I don't mind the end
My heart is through pen
God stuck in, right into the chest
Baby, You know the rest
Oh you know the rest,
You know the rest
You know the rest
You know the rest

Feel the evil hand that touched me blind
I feel everything Throwing up gang signs
I'm seeing 4 Whoresmen Fucking ride
Its gonna tear out another hide
of this story that I don't wanna see anymore
I'm Gonna preach it on this mother fucking last video, yea
Mother Fuckers wanna come and be down throw that 4 in the air then turn it around
and see, Tell me what the thumb be meaning
Tell me how a mother fucker see him
Tell me how your gonna be breathing
I just sold my soul so I aint fucking leaving
Got my 4 fingers turned at me
Staring at you Mother fucking tell me
What the fuck is the thumb all about
Cause you can't now act you gotta be all down
Little Dikkie boy coming through the door
He's got a 44 Magnum aiming for your fucking nose
Bitches breath and he put it in his chest
he breath it in and blew it out right on your fucking head like
that bitch you don't give a shit ya gettin it
I don't give a mother fucking tip with
I'm gonna tell you to your face
That the Dikkie raped your whore and your mother fucking other race
your mother fucking maniacs inside will take the bitch now shes dead
To the other fucking side to cut up a Mother fucking sun down
Titty time mother fucker open up and bow down now
Still asking you wheres that fucking 4
Tell me mother fucker what that Thumb stands for because
you Can't that means you bout to be rampaged,
I'll give you something to engage its called a 12 Gauge
Right in the bottom of your ass
And Dikkies got the 44 now claming up the Glass for the
9 Millie stole Krause got behind him
Im throwing 4 fucking standing at the pendulum
When it comes down everything is getting cut
Wanna bet at 54 you get shot up
I don't give a fuck, My names Sutdog
I got 4 mother fuckers just lightin me a log
I'm going spit the rhyme till the end of the day
the evil got me inside and did fuckin say
I don't want no help no mother fucking with you
I'll Kill every one of your Mother fucking crew I um
getting sick this shit it don't spit mother fucking
even Dik and my old homies Flag sick, outside of the YTR
hear the sound mother fucker get in the fucking car
I got some drink coolin in the back seat it's milk Kaluha and a little icee
I wish we gonna ride around its day time now
we'll see who wants to get down
I ve still got the dude in the back cause
my 4's in his head and hes about to crack what
See I got to drive em crazy first
I'll never let a hearse take away a perp
no way, no way, no way way
See I got to make em crazy first
I'll let him take the hearse
Then I'll throw him right a gang sign
It won't even be one of me, one of my family, the Whoresemen on the scene
I'll mess it up right now on the little freestyle.

To Be Continued.......

Self Medication
Got to Love it.